"People Like You"

Chad Dull EdD

I recently had the chance to work with a large group of Head Start professionals. As the scope of my Poverty Informed Practice work has grown, one of the joys has been finding programs like Head Start that are explicitly designed to lift up low-income families. Head Start staff are kindred souls; I appreciate their acknowledgement of their need to keep learning. It reminds me we should all be reflecting, learning, and growing in our understanding of poverty. Head Start has a wonderful practice of helping folks who start out as parent participants become staff members, so many of the people I worked with that day fit that profile and brought valuable lived experience to our discussion. In fact, when I facilitated a small group discussion after my keynote, one of those folks taught me a lesson that will change my practice going forward.

We were in a small group breakout session. I had information to present, but the small group allowed our time together to become very conversational. Facilitating small group conversation is one of my favorite things, so I was having a good time. We were challenging assumptions and discussing the realities of living in poverty. At one point the discussion turned to some staff perceptions. One person observed although Head Start offered help to families by asking what they need, parents often said they didn't really need anything. I was pleased with myself as I pointed out that it can be hard to know what you need when you are under stress or don't even really understand the options. I made a suggestion to reduce the amount of choice by preparing a list of often needed supports and presenting them by saying something like "People like you often benefit from these supports, which ones can we set you up with?" Problem solved...

Except, I saw a look on one participant's face which seemed to indicate they were not pleased with the answer or the discussion. I wish I could say I reacted in the moment and sought some clarification, but the rest of the group was giving good vibes, so we kept going. We flowed into a discussion of the poverty-informed strengths of the work they were doing, because starting with strengths is a poverty-informed tenet. And yet, this one person just didn't look engaged. In fact, she seemed tuned out enough that I was relieved when she said "Can I say something?" I responded of course she could and was excited to hear her thoughts. She started by saying she felt badly about bringing up something negative, but an earlier part of the conversation had been bothering her. She said she was stuck on our discussion about how to best offer supports. She shared she had been a Head Start parent before becoming part of the staff and if someone had visited her home and said "people like you..." she would have felt marginalized, alienated, and defensive, and wouldn't have been inclined to agree to any support. I paused, because I always try to pause when someone surprises me, and then asked how it could be done better. She said get rid of "people like you" and simply say "People often benefit." 

She was 100% right. Her change was simple, elegant, and inclusive. Part of what I teach is when you work with folks in poverty you need to work relentlessly on creating a sense of belonging, because they are so accustomed to being excluded. The feelings of being "less than and "other" have been so common for years, you have work to do to overcome them. I like to see myself as an expert on this work, but my own gaps were exposed in one simple piece of feedback from someone with lived experience. It is a powerful reminder to constantly seek new solutions and new insight from people actually living the circumstances we are trying to change. I finished our discussion by acknowledging the impact of what she had shared and promising to tell the story elsewhere, like here.

When I started writing these articles a little over 6 years ago, all I promised was an honest recording of my own journey to move from awareness of poverty to action in mitigating and combatting it. All these years later I continue to learn, make mistakes, and grow, in large part due to the privilege of having conversation like the ne I described all across the country. There is far too much talent trapped in poverty and there is an incredible amount of wisdom in places like Head Start if we take the time to listen and reflect. I suspect that people will benefit, not just people like you.